Letting Go of the Past

Do we ever really let go of the, no our past? or does it come back like a boomerang? Do we invite it back in or does it come uninviated and unannounced? This weekend Prince Charles marries his true love, Camilla, some 35 years after meeting her. Carrie found Mr Big some 6 years after they met. And articles in reputable newspaper confirm that many people seek out to reconnet with that first love. But this desire of people to seek that old flame seems like a phenomenon that affects not only love and relationship but other areas as well. Fashion is continuously afflicted by this behaviour. How else can we explain the revival of periods we thought were well-dead and never to be seen again? In food, the trend is returning to our prehistoric roots, eschewing processed foods that our ancestors knew nothing about. People also like old art, old wine and mature cheese. I won't enter the debate about whether we appreciate older people, but it seems that we continuously return to our roots. Salmons are notoriously known for travelling great distances in order to return to their place of birth, and lay their eggs and then die. What motivates people to return to their first loves a lifetime after? Are we all sentimental and really nostalgic as we grow old? Do we seek familiarity? or is it just that it takes us a lifetime to garner the courage to tackle that opportunity we missed in our youthful folly?

One summer I was travelling across Europe. In my naive spontaneity, I invited David to join me in Madrid. We had a wonderful time together. We got along so beautifully for some people who had not seen each other in over a year. We didn't fight, nor argue... but perhaps we were cognizant that time was precious then? However my bliss was cut short one evening during dinner conversation. For some reason unbeknowst to me, David had ventured into talking about his past relationships. I never encourage that topic and I don't pry or question either. My personal philosophy is that what is in the past, should remain there. I don't wish to know who were your ex, and especially not your history. However, he chose to talk about his exes. He spoke of one in particular and said how much he had been in love with her and the crazy things he had done because of love. Her family had adored him and by the sound of it, they considered him almost as their son-in-law. She was seeing someone that her family didn't like as much, and he knew that. He further stated that if she were ever to get married one day, he would intervene to find out if she is The One for him. I don't know if I should have applauded his candour but his revelation shocked me and shattered all my hopes and dreams and I knew then, I had no chance to compete with Her. My apetite, my evening, my dream of a life wit him was spoiled. I couldn't recuperate any of them.

So while Charles and Camilla reunite finally after such a lenghty period, I wonder is this a fate reserved only for fairy tales or is it written in the future for me as well?