Warning Label

I've been "kinda" seeing someone. He's a Genuinely Nice Guy. There isn't any negative I can say about him (except that he never offers to pay for me -never and in my book that's not being modern or cool, it's being cheap.). So Nice Guy surprised me by sending an unexpected email today. At least he initiates. That was one thing that annoyed me about David. I had to initiate. Translate: He just not into you. In any event, I don't know where this will go with Nice Guy. Unfortunately I don't think it'll go anywhere, or if it does, I doubt that it'll go anywhere very far. This time, I'm just not into him... I think maybe I'm not ready yet? My previous relationships have pretty much messed me up. I'm sort of like that cat that has been scalped once. I'm terrified and petrified, to the point where I wonder if I shouldn't disclose this little fact to Nice Guy? However, I feel that's he entitled to know where I'm coming from. My history has shaped me, for better and for worse. Without knowing the background, my reaction might be misinterpreted. So how much do I disclose? I like him enough that I don't want him to be perplexed because he doesn't know all the facts. At the same, I don't want to scare him by disclosing too much.

Maybe a song will do? Maybe like "Damaged" by TLC. If I hum and sing it around him do you think he'll get the hint?

I know that withholding important information can damage a relationship just as much as sharing too much, too fast. I've learned the first lesson from my previous relationship, and regretfully, I wish I had the opportunity to disclose this to David... it's one of the the maybes that might have changed our relationship. Because I withheld from David and the relationship went south, I'm reasoning that if I share, a relationship might have a chance of flourishing.

Of course, there is no guarantee that that was the cause of the demise of the relationship. It could have been anything else. But because I can't hinge it upon anything else, that's my best theory.

This time around, I hope that by sharing a bit of myself, the ending will be different. However, I have to brace myself for the worst case scenario, that it might precipitate the end of the relationship. However, the relationship has to progress. And it will have to come out at some point. I figure now is as good as time as ever.

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Damaged - by TLC

I know I'm kinda strange, to you sometimes
Don't always say, what's on my mind
You know that I've been hurt, by some guy
But I don't wanna mess up this time
(BRIDGE)And I really really really care
And I really really really want you
And I think I'm kinda scared'cause I don't want to lose you
If you really really really there
Then maybe you can hang throughI hope you understand
It's nothing to you

(CHORUS)My heart's at a low
I'm so much to manageI think you should know that
I've been damagedI'm falling in love
There's one disadvantageI think you should know that I've been damaged

I might look through your stuff, for what I don't wanna find
Or I might just set you up, to see if you're all mine
I'm a little paranoid, from what I've been through
Don't know what you got yourself into
And I really really really care (And I care about you so much)
And I really really really want you (I really do want you)
And I think I'm kinda scared (But I'm scared with every touch)
'cause I don't want to lose you ('cause I don't want to lose you)

If you really really really there (If you care for me like you say)
Then maybe you can hang through (Then maybe you can hang through)
I hope you understand (I hope you understand)
It's nothing to you (It's nothing to you, you)

My heart's at a low (low)
I'm so much to manage
I think you should know that (I think you should know)I've been damaged
I'm falling in love (I'm falling in love)
There's one disadvantage
I think you should know that I've been damaged (I think you should know that)

My heart's at a low I'm so much to manage (I'm so much to manage)
I think you should know that (I think you should know that)
I've been damaged (I've been damaged)
I'm falling in love (I love you so)
There's one disadvantage (I love you so)
I think you should know that I've been damaged
And I really really really want you
And I think I'm kinda scared'cause I don't want to lose you
If you really really really there
Then maybe you can hang through
I hope you understandIt's nothing to you (It's nothing to you)

My heart's at a low
I'm so much to manageI think you should know that (Ooh I think you should know I've been damaged)
I've been damaged (I've been damaged baby)I'm falling in love (Falling in love with you baby, yeah)
There's one disadvantageI think you should know that I've been damaged
My heart's at a low
I'm so much to manageI think you should know thatI've been damaged
I'm falling in love
There's one disadvantageI think you should know that I've been damaged