Chemistry: A Necessary Catalyst for Relationship?

Just came back from a blind date and what a great first blind date. The food was fantastic and the conversation flowed and never stopped. And how I laughed! A man who knows how to make me laugh with a deep belly laugh is a genius. But something was lacking: there was no sparks, no chemical reaction that caused my heart to flutter or my head to spin in a tizzy. It was such a shame because Mr No Chemistry was truly a lovely person, and I wish that I could have felt something for him.

But I wonder if there is such a thing as love at first sight or if it is not somekind of myth? I have heard that love is not something you fall into. Rather is something more like a steep mountain top: you must work at it gradually and eventually you reach the summit. If it is the latter and we misstep the first step, do we get a second chance to climb up again?

On paper, Mr No Chemistry would have been a great boyfriend and he had all the potential for a fantastic husband. He's a genuine, warm, caring person, intelligent, engaging and sociable. He's passionate about his profession and has interests outside of his work which make him an interest person. Yet it wasn't sufficient to generate those butterflies in my stomach. But I wondered, are those butterflies necessary for the long-term success of a relationship?

Arranged marriages would dispute their necessity. Love, true love, is more than the buzzing feeling. That buzz is superficial, based on physical attraction and induced by hormones. Love can develop over time as long as there's a good foundation based on mutual respect and similar values. I think that Mr No Chemistry and I shared at least that much. But I wanted something more. Was that asking for too much and being greedy? Could I have eventually fallen in love with him?

I think what held me back was an unproved belief that any feelings that I would develop for him, might dissipate over time, or worse, vanish one day. Or perhaps I would wake up to realise that I never loved him, or meet someone for whom I would have deep butterflies, which would cause me to doubt my feelings for Mr No Chemistry.

Given that I'm still single, I feel like I'm chasing after the mythical pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. So whether chemistry is a necessary component to a great relationship, I guess it would be like Santa Claus: it exists if you believe in it.